you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
