I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no you cant smoke seaweed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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