I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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