Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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