i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
