I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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