they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't notice because vodka
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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