dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize