Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
