She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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