I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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