Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
