I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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