he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
