I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
