Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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