on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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