So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
