It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize