plz talk dirty to me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
