he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
