Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
