I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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