we have officially lost it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
