We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
