lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
