Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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