Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
FUCK WHALES
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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