That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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