tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
