Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
