You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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