Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
