Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
