Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
