Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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