so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
