I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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