My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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