I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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