Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
