Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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