Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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