his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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