i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
