which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
