Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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