I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
