even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
