She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
