I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need a beard to bite.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize