I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
