that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
