but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize