dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
