I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Panties = found
Randomize
