Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The feeling are messing with the penis
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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