covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
