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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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