is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
