Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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