the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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