Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
