Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
